New from Dungeon Records! It's the latest CD from the world's premiere naughty parody band Tommy Turtle and The Trolls, "The Darker Side of Vanilla." This action packed CD offers everything lovers could want in a music CD with an awesome collection of songs starting with the invitation:

I'll take you home tonight
I won't let you cum until the morning's light
I'll take you home tonight
You'll be my lovin' baby

Moving on to:

Slow dancing
Stripping to the music
Slow dancing
Just me and my girl

Strangers in the tub exchanging kisses
Won'dring where it'll go before the night is through


You ask her to:

Put your hand on my member
Stroke it for me, baby
Squeeze it for me just right
Show me that you want it, too

You'll have her right where you want her when she complies with your request for her to:

Lay, Lady, lay
Lay across my four poster bed
Now spread your legs and then I'll tie you down
I'll clamp your tits and lick them, too
Then you will moan and you will scream awhile
As I play with your clit, too

You'll know that you are treating her right when you hear:

More, more, more
How do I like it?
How do I like it?
More, more, more!

It's the right time of the night
My cock is filling you up
It's the right time of the night
For you to cum

You'll be thrilled when she begs you to:

Take me to the limit
Please, please
Take me to the limit
One more time

The evening will finally come to an end when

Cum gets in your eyes

And ever since that night they've been together
Lovers at first sight in love forever
She became his sub while strangers in the tub

BUT WAIT! THERE'S MORE!
The Trolls believe that Dommes don't receive as much respect as they should get so they added this bonus cut at no extra charge for our Domme friends:

These boots are made for walking
That's 'cause I love you
Lie down honey, these boots
Are gonna walk all over you

Yes, this CD from Tommy Turtle and The Trolls will keep you cumming night after fun filled night. Don't miss out on your copy of “The Darker Shade of Vanilla” from Tommy Turtle and The Trolls. Available through internet spammers everywhere. From Dungeon Records.

 

Send me my copy!!!!

 

Oh, well ...

I was hoping it would be something like a free lifetime supply Ben and Jerry's Bohemian Raspberry or an Time-Freezing Remote that would let us zap the kids into suspended animation so we could have sex any time we want.

 

More! More!

 

For years they were my favorite band, but I know true lyricism when I see it.

How much for a signed copy?

 

Well, cum stained copies are being randomly shipped. For you an actual signed copy will cost you one month's worth of your salary while you were a moderator here.

 

I'd like a signed copy, thank you very much. Let me see if I can afford one.

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Just call your uncle in Nigeria if you're a little short this month. He's been trying to deliver 5,000,000$ US to you.

 

Tell me where, I am in Lagos right now. Will collect the cash for you with pleasure

 

Well I came to this thread thinking Rixer had returned...

Wrong thread...sorry.

 

Order in the next 10 minutes, and we'll throw in a signed copy of M4MPetcock's new single, "Mind your B's and Q's and your S's, too!" Here's a sample.




Operators are standing by. So, get to the phone, bitches!

 

No, Rixer was not at any of the recording sessions. The rumor was that he was out of the country enjoying himself.

 

Excuse me? I paid for an overnight delivery. I got nuthin'! I want my PayPal refund.

 

Our records show that your package was indeed shipped. We will start tracking your order. I suspect that we will find that your horny delivery person currently has your copy in his/her CD player. Once we confirm this we will initiate the CD's self destruct option which will also destroy the device that the CD is in.

 

OOOOOkk. Not quite our style but if that turns you on...

 

Ah, not the religious type, huh? Yeah, not everyone liked having "Catholic" thrown in.

 

I just might be interested. Any video's? Every group has video's now days.

 

Thank you for asking. There are two video versions in post production now, a PG version and a XXX version. There will be restrictions on who will be allowed to acquire the PG version.

 

This sounds like it should be done in 'ghetto rap', are you rap?

 

Oh, no, we're clearly a classic rock parody band. Every song is completely recognizable by anyone who remembers the original version.